a wreck above the neck
Jul. 26th, 2017 10:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carlyinromeLevel 10 pain day. I took tons of medicine and will probably pay for it tomorrow, which is super because it didn't help at all. Seriously considered going to the emergency room for a shot at relief, but then I remembered that they never help and I will be charged thousands of dollars ill never be able to pay back, so I just suffered. Luckily, I had all sorts of things I had to do today for my mom, so I got to spend all day doing laundry and preparing for my dad's birthday tomorrow and stuff, which I really shouldn't complain about because helping out makes me less of a human waste, but at times I felt like I might die. Tomorrow I have to bake two dozen cupcakes and then cut little cores out of them with a paring knife because I couldn't find a cupcake corer and my mom's like, "Why don't you make black forest cupcakes this year, because it's so hard to fit a whole cake in the fridge," and if I feel like this again tomorrow, I will probably have a psychotic break on like the third cupcake.
On Saturday we are going to Nashville to watch Man City (my favorite Premiere League team!) play, and I am just filled with dread that I am going to feel like this and not be able to go or have an awful time, and wouldn't it be nice to joyfully anticipate things instead?
I'm in an awful mood, I'm sorry.
I have all these writing projects due in the next 2-4 weeks, and I am nowhere near done on the ones I've started and half of them I haven't started at all because I just don't have the spoons, but it is a huge stressor, which I need more of, obvs, so I've been spending some time marinating in guilt and anxiety over that.
My mood is still weird, and I have the pdoc next week and will have to give a progress report, but it's like I have no memory and I am confused and I can't tell time. I keep a mood journal (also one for migraines and my menstrual cycle; look how responsible I am, mom!), but the charts confuse me, too. My mind is loose.
On Saturday we are going to Nashville to watch Man City (my favorite Premiere League team!) play, and I am just filled with dread that I am going to feel like this and not be able to go or have an awful time, and wouldn't it be nice to joyfully anticipate things instead?
I'm in an awful mood, I'm sorry.
I have all these writing projects due in the next 2-4 weeks, and I am nowhere near done on the ones I've started and half of them I haven't started at all because I just don't have the spoons, but it is a huge stressor, which I need more of, obvs, so I've been spending some time marinating in guilt and anxiety over that.
My mood is still weird, and I have the pdoc next week and will have to give a progress report, but it's like I have no memory and I am confused and I can't tell time. I keep a mood journal (also one for migraines and my menstrual cycle; look how responsible I am, mom!), but the charts confuse me, too. My mind is loose.
