I'm 56, and I'm still searching. However! Sex gets better as you get older, or at least that's my experience. I enjoy myself much more, the sensations are more intense, I'm comfortable with myself as a person, for the most part, and the orgasms are FANTASTIC!!!!! So don't give up - you'll find somebody. But the great thing about getting older is that sex matters less, and companionship is more important.
I'm here to tell you, it gets better, hon. It really does. All this shit you're wading through now, all the lessons you're learning, it pays off later. Hard to keep that in mind now, I know, but it's necessary to survival. That's the name of the game ... surviving.
Thank you. For the advice about survival. I just... sometimes (often), I think this part of my life will never end.
Honestly, I don't think I like sex. Sometimes I enjoy doing it solo, but I have never really enjoyed doing it with other people, and when I am attracted to someone, I don't think about sex with them.
You make a good point. I enjoy it when I'm "solo" but I have yet to have that one romance where we both enjoy ourselves while we're making love.
OMG, when I'm attracted to someone ... I think about sex with them, yeah, and those are happy thoughts, usually. But mostly what I want is companionship. It dawned on me today that when I'm with David, I don't think about him sexually. The relationship that I have with him is more like the one I had with my best friend, Olympia. We were friends from 7th grade on, until 2009, when I had my two really bad episodes back-to-back. I lost her email address when I changed Internet providers, and I never contacted her after that, because I just couldn't bear to drag her through the horrible shit I was going through back then. She was about to move, too, so I have no contact info for her. I moved shortly after that. I really miss her, but I feel about David the way I felt about her.
So I couldn't reply to this for days because it is my exact feelings. Only instead of stats i'm really good at social work and not at having a real life. Whenever I let myself entertain feelings of love and sex etc I am just a puddle of insecurity and self loathing. Clearly I am loveless because I am fundamentally unloveable. So, you know, you aren't alone.
Unrelated to anything in this post or comment, can I have your email address? I saw your fb comment about copyediting and I'd like to pick your brain. feel free to say no btw if you don't want to talk about copyediting or if you don't want me to have your email address. mine is elucidate.this at gmail.com if you'd rather email me than have me email you.
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Date: 2017-10-13 03:04 am (UTC)I'm here to tell you, it gets better, hon. It really does. All this shit you're wading through now, all the lessons you're learning, it pays off later. Hard to keep that in mind now, I know, but it's necessary to survival. That's the name of the game ... surviving.
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Date: 2017-10-13 08:58 pm (UTC)Honestly, I don't think I like sex. Sometimes I enjoy doing it solo, but I have never really enjoyed doing it with other people, and when I am attracted to someone, I don't think about sex with them.
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Date: 2017-10-14 03:11 am (UTC)You make a good point. I enjoy it when I'm "solo" but I have yet to have that one romance where we both enjoy ourselves while we're making love.
OMG, when I'm attracted to someone ... I think about sex with them, yeah, and those are happy thoughts, usually. But mostly what I want is companionship. It dawned on me today that when I'm with David, I don't think about him sexually. The relationship that I have with him is more like the one I had with my best friend, Olympia. We were friends from 7th grade on, until 2009, when I had my two really bad episodes back-to-back. I lost her email address when I changed Internet providers, and I never contacted her after that, because I just couldn't bear to drag her through the horrible shit I was going through back then. She was about to move, too, so I have no contact info for her. I moved shortly after that. I really miss her, but I feel about David the way I felt about her.
Weird, right?
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Date: 2017-10-13 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-13 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-15 06:29 pm (UTC)Unrelated to anything in this post or comment, can I have your email address? I saw your fb comment about copyediting and I'd like to pick your brain. feel free to say no btw if you don't want to talk about copyediting or if you don't want me to have your email address. mine is elucidate.this at gmail.com if you'd rather email me than have me email you.
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Date: 2017-10-15 07:12 pm (UTC)Oh sure, honey, email me about anything at any time. carlyinrome AT gmail.