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carlyinromeStill sick. Spent most of the day watching HLOTS, playing with
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ticketsonmyself on Tumblr, and trying to revise my SI paper.Please enjoy a picture of Kif wearing one of the two new sweatshirts I got him from this etsy shop:
Oh, and I wrote a short HLOTS fic, Lewis/Kellerman-y, set after "Wanted Dead or Alive (Part Two)" but before "Kellerman, PI," which broke my heart. Again. This show breaks my heart pretty consistently, and yet I keep watching. What is the math on that?
Lewis woke to a soft world. The edges of the machines beeping at his head were blurred, the lines marking his heartbeat a red fuzz. The hospital bed cradling him was as supple as a cloud. A really annoyed guy was standing beside his bed.
Wait.
Lewis squinted through the fog, aiming for veracity. The lines sharpened up a bit. The annoyed guy’s frown deepened, and he rearranged his weight, stuck his hands on his hips.
“Mikey?” Lewis asked. Vision couldn’t be trusted.
Kellerman took a step forward, toward the bed. “I told you your driving was going to land someone in the hospital.”
“I wasn’t even driving this time; I have been replaced as worst driver in the department.” Kellerman didn’t say anything; Lewis frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Kellerman’s eyebrows shot up. “You called me. Eleven times, in the middle of the night.”
“I most certainly did not.”
Kellerman coughed out a laugh. “You know, I thought you might say that, so I brought the tape from my answering machine.” He produced a handheld tape player, gave it a little tap. “Evidence.”
Kellerman pressed ‘play.’ The tape hissed to life.
Kellerman’s voice, the standard “leave a message after the beep.” Then the beep. Then a slightly slurred, prodding voice that Lewis had to admit sounded an awful lot like his own. “Hey, Mikey. Mikey, answer the phone. That is the message I am leaving you: pick. Up. The phone.” A click. Then, “What, like you not home? I’m trying to talk to you, pick up the phone.” Click. “Mikeeeeeeeeeey.” Click.
Lewis held up his hands in surrender. “All right, all right, I believe you.”
“Are you sure?” Kellerman asked. “’Cuz I could keep going.”
He shut the tape player off, though.
“So I called you a few times,” Lewis said.
“Eleven.”
Lewis shrugged, and then flinched. Shrugging wasn’t going to be in his repertoire for a while. “So I called you eleven times.”
“Any idea what you may have wanted?”
Lewis gave his chin a little rub. “See, I been having trouble sleeping, so they upped my morphine. And I ain’t havin’ trouble sleeping no more, but I am having some trouble, you know, remembering.”
Kellerman sighed. “All right.” For a moment they just stood, held by the tense silence like mosquitoes trapped in amber. Finally, Kellerman spoke, his tone sharply edged, “You know what the worst part was?”
“What, you don’t like me giving you a ring now and then?”
“The worst part was, I called your house looking for you, to return your calls—you know, to get you to shut up. And there’s no one there, so I call the squad room, and all they’ll tell me is you’re not there, so I redial the number you called from—”
Lewis chuckled. “Those detective skills, Mikey.”
“—and I find out I’m calling the hospital. I gotta find out that way that you’re in the hospital.”
And Kellerman’s face fell, all the anger going out of it, and it looked like Lewis was used to seeing it these days—you know, back when he was used to seeing Kellerman—just sad, like there was no hope anywhere.
“Hey, now,” Lewis said, real gentle, “it ain’t terminal. I got some broken ribs and a broken head, here, but I’m walking outta here next week.”
Kellerman brought his shining eyes up, looked Lewis dead in the eye.
“Maybe what I’m broken up about is you have to be on goof juice to call me.”
And it wasn’t something that happened often, but Lewis was caught speechless, because when you’re right, you’re right. And he could have apologized, but maybe he wasn’t sorry, not for that, and there was no guarantee that Kellerman would believe him, anyhow. So instead he reached out a hand, and he waited for Kellerman to take it.
And he did.
Lewis woke to a soft world. The edges of the machines beeping at his head were blurred, the lines marking his heartbeat a red fuzz. The hospital bed cradling him was as supple as a cloud. A really annoyed guy was standing beside his bed.
Wait.
Lewis squinted through the fog, aiming for veracity. The lines sharpened up a bit. The annoyed guy’s frown deepened, and he rearranged his weight, stuck his hands on his hips.
“Mikey?” Lewis asked. Vision couldn’t be trusted.
Kellerman took a step forward, toward the bed. “I told you your driving was going to land someone in the hospital.”
“I wasn’t even driving this time; I have been replaced as worst driver in the department.” Kellerman didn’t say anything; Lewis frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Kellerman’s eyebrows shot up. “You called me. Eleven times, in the middle of the night.”
“I most certainly did not.”
Kellerman coughed out a laugh. “You know, I thought you might say that, so I brought the tape from my answering machine.” He produced a handheld tape player, gave it a little tap. “Evidence.”
Kellerman pressed ‘play.’ The tape hissed to life.
Kellerman’s voice, the standard “leave a message after the beep.” Then the beep. Then a slightly slurred, prodding voice that Lewis had to admit sounded an awful lot like his own. “Hey, Mikey. Mikey, answer the phone. That is the message I am leaving you: pick. Up. The phone.” A click. Then, “What, like you not home? I’m trying to talk to you, pick up the phone.” Click. “Mikeeeeeeeeeey.” Click.
Lewis held up his hands in surrender. “All right, all right, I believe you.”
“Are you sure?” Kellerman asked. “’Cuz I could keep going.”
He shut the tape player off, though.
“So I called you a few times,” Lewis said.
“Eleven.”
Lewis shrugged, and then flinched. Shrugging wasn’t going to be in his repertoire for a while. “So I called you eleven times.”
“Any idea what you may have wanted?”
Lewis gave his chin a little rub. “See, I been having trouble sleeping, so they upped my morphine. And I ain’t havin’ trouble sleeping no more, but I am having some trouble, you know, remembering.”
Kellerman sighed. “All right.” For a moment they just stood, held by the tense silence like mosquitoes trapped in amber. Finally, Kellerman spoke, his tone sharply edged, “You know what the worst part was?”
“What, you don’t like me giving you a ring now and then?”
“The worst part was, I called your house looking for you, to return your calls—you know, to get you to shut up. And there’s no one there, so I call the squad room, and all they’ll tell me is you’re not there, so I redial the number you called from—”
Lewis chuckled. “Those detective skills, Mikey.”
“—and I find out I’m calling the hospital. I gotta find out that way that you’re in the hospital.”
And Kellerman’s face fell, all the anger going out of it, and it looked like Lewis was used to seeing it these days—you know, back when he was used to seeing Kellerman—just sad, like there was no hope anywhere.
“Hey, now,” Lewis said, real gentle, “it ain’t terminal. I got some broken ribs and a broken head, here, but I’m walking outta here next week.”
Kellerman brought his shining eyes up, looked Lewis dead in the eye.
“Maybe what I’m broken up about is you have to be on goof juice to call me.”
And it wasn’t something that happened often, but Lewis was caught speechless, because when you’re right, you’re right. And he could have apologized, but maybe he wasn’t sorry, not for that, and there was no guarantee that Kellerman would believe him, anyhow. So instead he reached out a hand, and he waited for Kellerman to take it.
And he did.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 12:24 am (UTC)I love the sweatshirt. That is one stylish pup.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 12:39 am (UTC)I really like your hlots ficlet. But I have to admit that it's been a long time since I saw it, so most details are hazy.
I'm going to take that as an endorsement, anyway. Thank you! It's only my second time writing the fandom; I haven't quite found my legs yet.
I love the sweatshirt. That is one stylish pup.
The other one is purple! Other dogs are jealous.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:18 am (UTC)Hee, you! <3
I hope so; I really want to write that Lewis and Kellerman go on a road trip and have to stay overnight, and Kellerman gets a room with two doubles instead of one king, and Lewis doesn't take the hint and squeezes into bed with Kellerman fic, but that will involve casework and grownup things, and I don't know if I'm up for it.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:35 am (UTC)I think so! I mean, I have reread this ficlet, like, five times already. Also your other ficlet! Oh, Lewis's hands. Dreamy sigh.
I really want to write that Lewis and Kellerman go on a road trip and have to stay overnight, and Kellerman gets a room with two doubles instead of one king, and Lewis doesn't take the hint and squeezes into bed with Kellerman fic, but that will involve casework and grownup things, and I don't know if I'm up for it.
I'm already having heart palpitations at the summary, so I can't dissuade you.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:53 am (UTC)Aw, yay, thank you. I am very happy you like them. <3
I will try to write more HLOTS, if for nothing else than my selfish need to have more happy Lewis and Kellerman floating around.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 02:07 am (UTC)More happy Lewis and Kellerman: EVERYONE WINS
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Date: 2011-11-06 01:08 am (UTC)Kif is hardcore! The skull-and-crossbones action is fierce.
Nope, still out of everything for this ficlet except exclamation marks. I WILL RETURN. Having watched through "Kellerman, P.I.," you now know about 65 percent of how I feel about it, though! ;________________________;
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:14 am (UTC)*hugs* I hope you feel better very soon!
Thank you. I feel like I have been sick forever. :(
Kif is hardcore! The skull-and-crossbones action is fierce.
Kif is very tough. I imagine he'll be joining a gang soon.
Nope, still out of everything for this ficlet except exclamation marks. I WILL RETURN. Having watched through "Kellerman, P.I.," you now know about 65 percent of how I feel about it, though! ;________________________;
If that 65% is criiiiiiiiiiiiiiies why couldn't this have happened? Seriously, things I do not care about include: Kellerman and Falsone making nice. Things I do care about: Lewis getting more than fifteen seconds of screentime when I really need to know where he and Kellerman are. Lewis seemed even more needled than usual in Part Two; WHAT ARE THE FEELINGS I MUST KNOW
Also, there was no hugging. No hugging at all.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:30 am (UTC)Kif is very tough. I imagine he'll be joining a gang soon.
Aww. Aww-dorable.
If that 65% is criiiiiiiiiiiiiiies why couldn't this have happened?
PRETTY MUCH.
New canon: Lewis called Kellerman a bunch of times while on morphine, but was too out of it to even leave any messages. :(
Seriously, things I do not care about include: Kellerman and Falsone making nice.
Seriously, Falsone needs to leave. He makes everything more boring and annoying! I resent almost every second that Ballard spends on him, for example.
Things I do care about: Lewis getting more than fifteen seconds of screentime when I really need to know where he and Kellerman are. Lewis seemed even more needled than usual in Part Two; WHAT ARE THE FEELINGS I MUST KNOW
I KNOW. Why couldn't this two-parter have been focused on Kellerman and Lewis instead of Kellerman and Falsone???
Also, there was no hugging. No hugging at all.
Did you know only one and a half hugs between Lewis and Kellerman are shown onscreen?? There's that hug in my icon, and
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 01:35 am (UTC)I resent almost every second that Ballard spends on him, for example.
I'm sorry, when I first read that, I took it in the least mature way possible. HAHAHA
I KNOW. Why couldn't this two-parter have been focused on Kellerman and Lewis instead of Kellerman and Falsone???
They owed me that. You owe me that, show! *shakes fist*
Did you know only one and a half hugs between Lewis and Kellerman are shown onscreen?? There's that hug in my icon, and [info]formanymiles and I decided that neck rub Kellerman gives Lewis in the final scene of "The Wedding" counts as half a hug. #ROOM IN THE CUDDLE BUDGET :((
I can't believe that! Kellerman says they hug! They hug enough! Is it just the hug at New Years, and that's it? I seem to remember more . . . maybe it's just that my mind has been remodeled by you and Holly, so I am imagining ALL HUGS ALL THE TIME.
well, do you want lewis to hug you more?
Date: 2011-11-06 01:42 am (UTC)They owed me that. You owe me that, show! *shakes fist*
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh!
I can't believe that! Kellerman says they hug! They hug enough! Is it just the hug at New Years, and that's it? I seem to remember more . . . maybe it's just that my mind has been remodeled by you and Holly, so I am imagining ALL HUGS ALL THE TIME.
Yeah, it's just that hug. I choose to believe you are not wrong, though! ALL HUGS ALL THE TIME; Kellerman is defensive when Bayliss asks, because Kellerman wants more hugs from Lewis, anyway, and who wouldn't?
Re: well, do you want lewis to hug you more?
Date: 2011-11-06 01:48 am (UTC)Also, because apparently I am not done ranting about "Kellerman, PI," I resent the writers trying to make the case that Falsone, who feels bad for Craig because he (Falsone) made the same stupid mistake and was a father too young, and is generally a crappy father who can't even show up to his kid's birthday party but is "trying," is more noble than Kellerman, who is trying to do his job well and get paid for it. That really pisses me off.
But. I did find it really amusing that Bayliss (the labradoodle!) referred to Kellerman as a dog, a little Jack Russel terrier. All my LOLZ.
Re: well, do you want lewis to hug you more?
Date: 2011-11-06 02:12 am (UTC)lol, LABRADOODLE will never not be funny. Also yes. lolol.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 06:23 pm (UTC)I just want those crazy kids to be happy together, that's all.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-06 06:46 pm (UTC)I only watched, I think, three episodes, and it still broke my heart. I'm currently working on, like, a romantic comedy fic where they're in an established relationship. I'm working through my issues! I feel like my therapist would approve (you know, if I was still going to therapy).
no subject
Date: 2011-11-19 02:40 am (UTC)Lewis woke to a soft world. The edges of the machines beeping at his head were blurred, the lines marking his heartbeat a red fuzz. The hospital bed cradling him was as supple as a cloud. A really annoyed guy was standing beside his bed.
Wait.
This is so adorable. I may have inappropriate feelings about how adorable this is.
So much subsequent adorable. Lewis on the answering machine: THE MOST ADORABLE
“So I called you a few times,” Lewis said.
“Eleven.”
Lewis shrugged, and then flinched. Shrugging wasn’t going to be in his repertoire for a while. “So I called you eleven times.”
“Any idea what you may have wanted?”
Lewis gave his chin a little rub. “See, I been having trouble sleeping, so they upped my morphine. And I ain’t havin’ trouble sleeping no more, but I am having some trouble, you know, remembering.”
UGH I CAN'T STAND IT
Lewis's adorable repertoire of gestures!!!
“What, you don’t like me giving you a ring now and then?”
“The worst part was, I called your house looking for you, to return your calls—you know, to get you to shut up. And there’s no one there, so I call the squad room, and all they’ll tell me is you’re not there, so I redial the number you called from—”
Lewis chuckled. “Those detective skills, Mikey.”
“—and I find out I’m calling the hospital. I gotta find out that way that you’re in the hospital.”
LEWIS. KELLERMAN. Sad. Adorable. It's sadorable!
And he could have apologized, but maybe he wasn’t sorry, not for that, and there was no guarantee that Kellerman would believe him, anyhow. So instead he reached out a hand, and he waited for Kellerman to take it.
And he did.
<3 THEM <3 YOUUUUUUUUUU <3