FIC: the learning curve (Thunderheart, Ray/Walter, NC-17)

[carlyinrome]

SUMMARY: Variety is the spice of life. Written in response to 50 Reasons to Have Sex prompt #4: someone tells you about a new position.
NOTES: Written considering Ray and Crow Horse have been sleeping together for about six months, and Ray is still working hard on figuring out this gay sex thing. Also, this is by a large margin the most explicit thing I've ever written, so... fair warning.

Ray hung up the phone in the kitchen, and came to join Crow Horse on the couch, where he was sipping on a beer and watching the staticky television.

“How's your ma?” Crow Horse asked. He looked away from his ballgame long enough to register Ray's ashy complexion, and added, “Everything all right?”

Ray’s eyes were kind of spooked and glassy, and he poked his tongue into his cheek a moment before responding.

“My mom has started going to PFLAG meetings,” he said.

Crow Horse shrugged. He didn't get the big deal. “That's supportive,” he said.

Ray pursed his lips. “She's been--she's been learning things.”

Crow Horse still wasn't getting it. “She wants to understand what's going on with you. Sounds like a good thing to me.”

Ray looked Crow Horse in the eye.

“She asked me if I was a top or a bottom.”

Crow Horse choked on his beer, and then laughed so hard his ribs ached, even with Ray's pained expression.

“She thought it was a political thing,” Ray said with a faraway look. “I… I just… Walter, I had to explain it to her.”

Crow Horse’s laughter revved up again. Holy shit, he couldn't breathe.

Ray did not look amused.

***

A few days later, Crow Horse brought in the mail, flipping through it as he walked in the door. Bill, bill, bill, as frickin usual. At the bottom was a fat envelope, addressed to Ray from his mother. Crow Horse smiled; a package from Ray's ma usually cheered him up pretty good. Crow Horse left the bills on the table and took the envelope out to Ray.

Ray was in the backyard, playing with the dog. Crow Horse watched them chase each other through the dry, whippy prairie grass, both of them smiling like fools, the dog panting and dusty and Ray starting to sweat. Crow Horse was taken by a deep, undeniable fondness, and he stood out on the porch watching them until they spotted him, running up to greet him. Jimmy jumped up, pawing at Crow Horse's chest--which he definitely was not supposed to do--and Ray leaned in and kissed the corner of Crow Horse's mouth.

“Hey, hey now,” Crow Horse said, but Ray was smiling so big that Crow Horse just smiled along.

Ray told Jimmy to get down, and he actually listened for a change, dropping to all three paws and walking into the house for a drink. Then Ray kissed Crow Horse again, full on the lips this time.

Crow Horse chuckled. “Lotsa energy there today, Raymond? You eat your spinach?”

Ray smiled, stretched. Ray loved being inside his body, using it, feeling his muscles work, his adrenaline up and the utter satisfied calm that came afterwards. Crow Horse smiled, because he could tell by looking that Ray was happy, and that made Crow Horse happy, too. He ruffled Ray's hair, something that generally wasn't allowed but that Ray didn't bitch about this time because he was so comfortable and happy, and because all the exercise he'd just had playing with Jimmy had messed up his hair, anyway.

“You got mail, sugar,” Crow Horse said, remembering the envelope in his hand. He handed the thick padded envelope to Ray, who took it over to the porch swing. He sat, the swing rocking a bit as it took his weight, and he smiled when he read the return address.

Ray opened the envelope, pulling out a stack of glossy pages. Crow Horse came to sit beside him on the swing, looking down at what Ray's ma had sent him.

“PFLAG stuff,” Ray said, lifting a pamphlet up so Crow Horse could see the cover.

Ray leafed through the stack of pamphlets, reciting aloud the topic of each one. “Safe sex, HIV testing, how to get involved--” Ray froze over the next one, and Crow Horse craned his neck to see the cover.

“Gay sex positions,” Crow Horse read, even voiced, pretending he didn't see that embarrassed kind of blush coloring Ray's cheeks.

Crow Horse lay a hand on the back of Ray's neck, his fingers massaging against the tension in Ray's muscles. Crow Horse took the pamphlet from Ray's hands, began to flip through it.

Ray was less flushed, but no less tense.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Crow Horse shrugged. “Might be some interesting information in here, you don't know.”

Ray's blush flared. “My mother sent us that,” he hissed.

“She's a thoughtful lady, your mom,” Crow Horse said. He nudged Ray with his elbow. “Look at this stuff here, Ray. Really.”

Ray could be exceptionally bull headed, but this time his stubbornness faded fast, and he leaned against Crow Horse's shoulder to get a good look at the pictures in the brochure.

They were illustrations, not photographs, which Ray was thankful for. There was written instruction beneath each picture with tips and methods. Crow Horse looked at Ray, noticed the focus show itself in his face, and smiled, because he’d known immediately that the format would appeal to  Ray. Ray was comforted when information was laid out in front of him. He liked understanding how things worked, and he was very good at taking instruction, so the way the text was written in imperatives was very effective. Soon Ray's blush was gone, and his shoulders had begun to relax. He had switched from his emotional mind to the logical, and he was parsing the information like analyzing a report from the forensics lab.

Ray flipped the page, pointed at one of the illustrations. “Have you ever done that?”

Crow Horse studied the illustration. “Yeah. Don't think you'd like it; you'll be kind of pinned down and locked into position, and I know how much that frustrates you.”

Ray had a lot of trouble being penned in. He nodded and turned the page. A half smile appeared on his face.

“We've done that,” he said.

“Yeah. You like that one, don't you?”

A little color came to Ray's cheeks, but it wasn't that uncomfortable, embarrassed blush from before.

“Yes,” he said softly. Crow Horse was getting him better at talking about sex, but it was a steep learning curve. Crow Horse rubbed Ray's back, and the blush faded from his cheeks, and he kept looking through the pamphlet.

He paused after a few pages. Tapped an illustration: two men on their knees, back to front. The top would enter from behind, like doggy style but upright, leaving everyone's hands free.

“This one?” he asked.

Crow Horse shook his head. “Don't think so. Never have.” He watched the way Ray's mouth turned, watched his tongue poke against his cheek. Crow Horse leaned in close, purred against Ray's ear, “Would you like to try that, Raymond? Do you want me to take you like that?”

Ray shivered, for a moment unspeaking, biting down on his lip. He knew he had to say it, or Crow Horse wouldn't.

“Yes,” he said finally, actually able to put some strength behind the word.

Crow Horse's lips brushed his ear. “I think that can be arranged.”

***

The decision was made to wait til bedtime, because Ray was tired from his time in the yard and Crow Horse had shit to do, as he always seemed to. He did notice, though, that Ray was getting nervier and nervier as the day stretched on. At the dinner table, he looked a little wan, and Crow Horse started feeling sentimental, because he knew Ray had only been gay for six months, now, and he knew that he was nervous.

Crow Horse didn't want to spook him, so he planned on taking things real slow, but when he emerged from the bathroom after finishing his bedtime rituals, he found Ray waiting for him naked on the bed.

Crow Horse sloughed off his pajamas and went to Ray, who still looked nervous but also determined. Crow Horse took Ray's face in both his hands and kissed him, soft and slow, until Ray relaxed against him, a quiet, pleased murmur drawing from his throat. Crow Horse rubbed Ray down, running his hands over Ray's shoulders and back, squeezing his ass, all as they kissed. For a while, Ray rested his hands against Crow Horse's chest, then they moved gently south, cradling his ribs and tickling his belly. Ray skimmed the tips of his fingers through the soft hair below Crow Horse's belly, traced the line of his cock. Ray was just being gentle, Crow Horse knew; he didn't mean to tease, but that's exactly what he was doing. Crow Horse moved Ray's hand over his cock, put pressure on the back of Ray's hand until he got the picture. Ray rubbed his palm against Crow Horse's cock, his touch slow and thorough--Ray had real good hands: quick, able, steady. Crow Horse fought the urge to thrust against Ray's hand, because Ray was going slow, but he was doing really good work, his palm providing friction and his fingers massaging just the right places just the right way. Crow Horse kissed him, his neck and shoulders, his own hands holding Ray close. Ray pushed his body against him, his cheek against Crow Horse's, his breath on Crow Horse's neck. Crow Horse was breathing heavy, and Ray was still working on him slow but sure. And that's how they got there, slow and steady winning the race, and Crow Horse sweated and shuddered and came in Ray's hand. Ray rested his head against Crow Horse's shoulder, and the proximity was nice for both of them. Crow Horse was getting his breath back, and he ran his knuckles lightly over the back of Ray's neck, right along his spine, and Ray murmured again, nuzzling Crow Horse's neck.

“You sweet thing,” Crow House said softly, and Ray lifted his face to be kissed.

Crow Horse kissed him, and then he lay Ray down beneath him. Ray's breaths were even and he made soft, pleased noises when Crow Horse touched him; Crow Horse had soothed the nerve right out of him. Crow Horse fit himself between Ray's legs, tickling the sensitive insides of Ray's thighs. Ray shivered, and Crow Horse put some muscle behind the touch, massaging up Ray's thighs the way Ray did himself if he'd twinged a muscle running. Ray breathed out slow, but Crow Horse could tell it was Ray trying to steady himself, the way you would trying to get your blood down. This told Crow Horse that what he was doing was working, and he bent over Ray and introduced Ray's cock to the heat and slickness of his mouth. Ray moaned quietly, long and low, and Crow Horse worked him the way Ray had worked him, slowly but adeptly. Ray rose his hips, meeting Crow Horse's touch but not directing it. Crow Horse gripped Ray's hips and took him fully into his mouth, and Ray whined, his fist tightening in Crow Horse's hair, and now he was trying to dictate the pace, thrusting into Crow Horse’s mouth, but Crow Horse held him still and went exactly as slow as he wanted.

Ray made a noise of frustration, and for a moment pushed against Crow Horse's hands anchoring his hips, but shortly after resigned himself to the pace. Crow Horse was tickled, because Ray wanted badly to be a patient man but was not, too young and high strung. Crow Horse had a good few years on him and an easier temperament, so he was pretty good at riding things out.

Ray was breathing shallow and his hand went limp in Crow Horse's hair, and Crow Horse flicked the tip of his tongue against the tip of Ray's cock and sucked, and that was it--Ray bucked and cried out, and Crow Horse swallowed him down, came up his body so they were face to face. Ray was flushed and he had his eyes closed, holding onto it, but Crow Horse knew Ray liked the pressure of Crow Horse's body against his after he came, so Crowd Horse lay atop him and kissed his face, petted his hair until he had wound down. Ray opened his eyes and looked right into Crow Horse's, and Crow Horse stroked his cheek, dragging the pad of his thumb over the corner of Ray's plush mouth which wasn't fair because Ray was wildly ticklish there.

“You ready for me?” Crow Horse asked.

Ray flushed, but he nodded. Crow Horse got off him and reached to the nightstand for lube; Ray pulled himself off his back, crawling to his knees and then straightening, sitting back on his haunches. Crow Horse clutched the tube of lubricant in one hand; with the other he gestured to Ray.

“Turn around.”

Ray looked nervous again, but he was good at following directions, so he did as he was told, standing up on his knees with his back to Crow Horse. Crow Horse came up behind him, one arm crossing Ray's chest, holding him to him. Crow Horse kissed the joint of Ray's jaw, whispered, “I got you.”

Ray shivered a little, then relaxed, the same as he did anytime Crow Horse said that. Crow Horse palmed Ray's ass, his thumb pressing into the crack.

“I'm gonna get you ready,” he said, and Ray nodded.

Crow Horse coated his fingers with lube. He spread Ray open and rubbed his slick fingers against his hole. Ray didn't like touching himself like that, but Crow Horse enjoyed it, the reactions it pulled out of his boy, so he was happy to take on the responsibility. Crow Horse rubbed against Ray's hole, and then--slowly, gently--pushed a finger inside him. Ray exhaled slowly, riding it out as Crow Horse slid in a second finger, began to stretch him. Ray was quiet until Crow Horse added a third finger, and then he groaned, breathy, as Crow Horse fucked him with his fingers.

“Okay, honey, okay,” Crow Horse said, and he withdrew his fingers. It was only going to hurt more in a minute, but Ray would ride it out.

Ray panted. Crow Horse kept Ray spread and pushed the head of his cock against Ray's hole, holding for a moment and then pushing slowly in.

Ray gave to him, squeezed around him. He made a little cry, but he swallowed the initial pain, knowing it would feel good soon.  Crow Horse kept his arm across Ray's chest, keeping him close against him, as he began to move inside Ray, the strokes not rough but decisive.

Ray was breathing shallow, and his spine was rigid: he wasn't enjoying it yet. Crow Horse angled up, and he pulled Ray's hips back, and Ray choked because there, there, that was his sweet spot. Crow Horse thrust against it, and Ray pushed himself back onto Crow Horse's cock so he was getting exactly what he wanted. He leaned back, his back arching, baring his throat, and Crow Horse took that weight and held him close, and he moved in him in long, sure strokes.

Ray was demonstrative during sex, which on the one hand Crow Horse found hilarious, since Ray was so uptight about the subject, but on the other hand it did things to him. Crow Horse listened to the moans coming out of Ray's mouth every time Crow Horse thrust in, and it was everything Crow Horse could do not to bend Ray over and drill him into the mattress. What he did do was fist Ray's hair and push his head forward, separating them enough that Crow Horse could jackhammer into him hard, fast, none of that slow and steady shit.

If Ray minded the rough hand, he didn't say anything. Short, guttural noises tore from Ray's throat as Crow Horse nailed his prostate, and soon he had to lean forward, bracing himself on one arm, to take it.

Crow Horse gripped Ray's hips and fucked him deep, and Ray was reaching his limit on handling it, tossing his head and starting to whine. It was too much; he was too sensitive, too stimulated, everything in him alive and raw, and he wouldn't be able to stand it much longer. Crow Horse drove into him hard, angling Ray's hips so he hit the target so hard that Ray lost it, coming with a noise almost like crying, and putting down his other arm to catch his weight as his muscles went liquid, trembling, useless.

That was it. Crow Horse had made Ray take more before, because testing one's limits and then bulldozing past them was good for you, but Crow Horse figured Ray had been a real good boy and a real good sport tonight, so he gave the kid a break and came himself, pushing into the sweet tightness and then staying there a moment, inside him, until he could breathe again.

Crow Horse pulled out and let go of Ray's hips, and Ray immediately folded to the mattress, panting and shivering and still making that trembly weak noise like he was deciding if he wanted to cry or not. Crow Horse rubbed his back, putting a little muscle behind it, not just petting him, and Ray started to calm down. He wasn't hurt, just overwhelmed, and that started to bleed away with Crow Horse's hands on him.

Ray exhaled slowly, and then his breathing was more or less back to normal. Crow Horse kissed his shoulder, and hauled himself off the bed to get something to clean up with.

Later they sat together in bed, backs against the headboard, sleepy and content and calm.

Crow Horse teased the hair at the nape of Ray's neck. Ray sighed, squeezed his eyes closed. Something struck Crow Horse, sudden like, and he chuckled.

“I think I'll send your ma a thank you note.”

Ray choked, his eyes flying open and going wide.

“Don't you dare.”

Crow Horse looked off into the middle distance, a contemplative expression settling over his face.

“Thoughtful lady, your mom,” he said, and Ray nailed him with a pillow.