TITLE: The Way Things Work
RATING: R
FANDOM: Angel
PAIRING: Cordelia/Gunn
SPOILERS: Early AtS S2
SUMMARY: As it turns out, Cordelia is not completely disinterested in physics.
PROMPT: Written for [profile] marenfic for the [profile] hetfic_minis Cordelia round. Requested was the truck and teasing.


TITLE: Vessels
RATING: NC-17
FANDOM: Angel
PAIRING: Cordelia/Darla
SPOILERS: AtS S2, during the fucking with Angel’s dreams arc.
SUMMARY: Cordelia is impatient, and Darla is bored.
PROMPT: Written for [profile] getyourwings for the [community profile] femslash_minis Darla round. Requested was water, gold, silk, and no adult toys or adult movies. This is a bit of a departure from your request, but I hope you like it.


Buffy is making gingerbread men. She found the recipe, bought the ingredients, made the dough. Rolled the dough into sparkling brown sheets. Now she is pressing shining, man-shaped cookie cutters into the rolled-out dough, carving out an army of cookie men.

Angel is very concerned.

“So . . . you don’t like gingerbread,” he says, watching her from a safe distance. The kitchen makes Buffy weird. There’s all sorts of throwing things, and curses so filthy he’s honestly shocked to hear them in her sweet voice, and knives embedded in the wall.

Or there’s this, which is somehow more unsettling.

“Correct,” Buffy answers sweetly. She continues cutting out her little men.

“So . . . we’re making gingerbread men because . . . ?”

Buffy shoots him an evil, evil look. He relaxes a little; he’s used to seeing that kind of expression on her in this room.

“Because it’s Christmas,” she says, and she turns back to her project.

And begins to hum.

Angel considers calling a doctor. Or a priest.

“Buffy—”

“Have you ever had gingerbread? Or will this be a new taste for you?”

Since shanshuing, Angel has been heavily invested in discovering new tastes. Unfortunately, his newfound interest in food began while he was still healing from the assault on the Black Thorn, and it wasn’t until Spike made a comment on his fat ass that Buffy only defended with, “He’s not fat! He’s just a little . . . chubby, and I think it’s adorable,” that he realized he had to get off his ass, still broken or not, and hit the gym, if he wanted all that the culinary world had to offer.

A year after his Alamo, Angel is both healed and trim, and refuses to admit that Spike ever taught him anything ever.

“Um, no, we—we used to have it when I was a kid. I still don’t understand why you’re baking . . .”

Buffy isn’t listening. Buffy is humming again, humming a song Angel can’t place, and cheerfully hacking little men from her dough.

It would be okay if it was just the gingerbread men. (Okay, no, it would still be weird and unnerving.) But there are also sugar cookies, cooling on the counter waiting to be frosted, and two dozen macaroons in the oven. And yesterday, there were pies. Pies. Plural. And there’s a turkey in the fridge and she’s already made the stuffing, he saw her—

Angel places the song. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

Okay, something is definitely wrong here.

Angel, with complete disregard for his personal safety, takes some steps toward his wife.

“Buffy . . . are you feeling all right?”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, ev’rywhere you go. Buffy smiles. “Sure, sweetie. I feel fine.”

Soon the bells will start—

“Nothing . . . bothering you at all?”

And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing—

“Nope.”

Right within your heart.

Angel sidles closer. Buffy is almost out of dough to puncture. “Nothing at all?”

Buffy looks up at him, her mouth parted slightly, her eyes wide and shining with Christmas cheer. “Angel, no! I’m fine. Stop pestering me!”

She shoos him away, but he stays put.

“You’re not—you’re perfectly fine?”

Buffy nails him with a straight-up glare. “Yes. Perfectly fine. Go away!” When he doesn’t budge, Buffy picks up the wooden spoon she mixed the gingerbread dough with, and brandishes it like a weapon. “Seriously, mister. Have you ever been spanked with a wooden spoon?”

“Yes,” Angel answers before he realizes it’s a rhetorical question, a silly threat, and not a legitimate query.

Buffy blushes. “By who?”

She’s just too pretty when she blushes. Angel forgets his concerns over her obsessive baking; he closes the distance between them, slips his arms around her waist. Buffy drops the spoon as Angel’s mouth finds hers, as he lifts her off the ground as though she weighs nothing at all. She’s in the air, and in his arms, and she lets her weight fall against him, against his broad chest and clever hands and warm mouth, because the only alternative is to let the air have her.

Angel spins them for a moment, indecisive. Buffy closes her eyes; she feels like a music box ballerina, controlled completely but still dancing. She relaxes against Angel and she milks kisses from his sweet mouth.

He lays her gently on the kitchen table. Her hair fans out over the edge, and for a moment he just looks at her, flushed and beautiful and waiting for him. He kisses her mouth and his hands are cradling her jaw, snaking up under her sweater, over her flat belly and up to her warm, soft breasts. His fingers slide beneath the lace of her bra, and she pebbles for him, like magic, a sorcerer bringing a dormant flower to life. He undoes her bra and her breasts fall into his hand, heavy and hot, and her neck is arched and his flat human teeth close gently on her soft flesh, and she closes her eyes and lets him bite her.

The sweater’s gone, and the bra’s gone, and his mouth is on her chest, his teeth pinching the sensitive flesh of her breasts, and his hands are caught up in her zipper and her tight jeans and her tiny panties, and Buffy gasps and surges against him, and her voice is a throaty purr tickling his ear, now do it now.

Seconds and he’s inside her, and he’s underwater drowning and he can’t breathe, bright flashes of light blind him. So, so warm and home, and Buffy moans a siren’s song calling him calling him calling him. He should know better, but he always ends up shipwrecked on her shores.

Baby, yes, so good, and her nails dig into his arms, and it hurts but he wants any sensation to last as long as it can, forever, and he just closes his eyes and feels the pain and feels what it’s like to be inside of her, and the tightening agony of climbing to release. Buffy is lifting her hips, rolling her hips like the waves coming and coming and coming, and his name falls from her lips like an act of gravity.

Sweating and panting and home, Angel rests against her. She is still, and he is still, and he stays inside her even after the act is over. Home home home.

Buffy’s small hands cradle his face. She kisses him, and he feels seasick. There’s no way he’ll be able to walk in the real world, on the unstable land, not after this.

“I just wanted you to have a good Christmas,” she says. Her voice is low, and breathy, and Angel can feel the words echo in her chest. “It’s your first one, so I wanted . . . I wanted it to be perfect. Did I get crazy with the baking?”

“I don’t need cookies to be happy, to have a happy Christmas.”

“Oh yeah?” Her mouth quirks, the I’m up for your challenge quirk, and if he wasn’t already head over heels, he’d fall in love with her right now. “What do you need?”

He kisses her and kisses her. “Just you. I just need you.”

The macaroons burn, and no one notices.



“Angel, we’ve been thinking.”

Angel had just started a new novel, which was, frankly, really stupid of him. It was hard enough finding the time to read with just one girlfriend, but with two? He was lucky if he had time to read the nutrition facts off a box of cereal. Not that he ate cereal, which brought his ingestion of the written word to more or less zero.

But he was determined not to let his brain atrophy, so his response to Cordelia’s request for his attention was, “Mm-hmm.”

Cordelia was not accustomed to being ignored. Honestly; what was more important than her? She tried clearing her throat loudly, and when that still wasn’t enough to wrest Angel’s full attention from his stupid book, she yanked the damn thing away from him.

Angel looked up lethargically. Five minutes. Five minutes of Angel Time would have been nice. It’s not like he was some needy metrosexual; it was just . . . well, a man got exhausted! Even if he wasn’t technically a man . . .

“Cordy . . .”

Her arms were crossed over her chest and her brow was up. Six inches behind her, Buffy was a tiny, golden mirror of the Seer. Angel sighed; he was in trouble.

“We’ve been thinking,” Cordelia said again, her voice stentorian and dripping with triumph.

Angel straightened in his chair. “And . . . what have we been thinking about?”

Buffy shouldered past Cordelia – earning herself a sharp glance from the brunette – and grabbed Angel’s hand. Yanked him to his feet.

“We’ve been thinking about things we should talk about in the bedroom,” she said.

Before he could protest, the girls had dragged him across the Hyperion’s lobby, up the stairs, and to their suite. Most of their clothing was lost in transit, despite Angel’s protests (Hey, you could use a hanger—that’s a silk shirt—Cordy, what if Gunn finds your underwear draped over a—hey! Easy with the zipper!).

“We’ve been thinking,” Cordelia said, more shoving than leading Angel to their bed, “that we really enjoy when you fuck us.”

Angel stared blankly first at Cordelia, then at Buffy. Neither of their faces offered any clue as to what turn this conversation was going to take. Neither did any of their . . . other parts . . .

“Um,” Angel said. “Well, you know, I do . . . I enjoy that . . . too . . .”

“But we’ve been thinking,” Buffy said, locking the door and skipping over to join Angel and Cordelia on the bed, “that it’s about time we fucked you.”

“It’s only polite,” Cordelia said, and slipped off the bed. Angel tried to see where she was going, but suddenly Buffy was on his lap, her tiny hands caressing his chest, stomach, thighs.

“Um,” Angel said. He was getting very nervous.

“We felt just terrible about denying you,” Buffy said, her bottom lip plumping into an attractive pout.

“And – obviously – ourselves,” Cordelia said, sauntering back to join her lovers. “I mean, come on: we’re not philanderers.”

“Philanthropists,” Angel corrected in a low exhalation. Cordelia was still gloriously nude except one notable addition: a strap-on cinched around her waist. She held an identical harness in her hand and tossed it, all leather and . . . wow, that was big . . . to Buffy, who caught it ably and with a smile.

“Right,” Cordelia said, and she smiled, too. “Philanthropists.”

“We like to get ours, too,” Buffy said, standing and allowing Cordelia to help her into the belt.

“Um,” Angel said again.

Cordelia smiled. “So, we’ve been thinking. It’s about time we gave you yours.”

Angel swallowed thickly. “Right, um . . . both of you?”

Cordelia grinned, and pulled Angel to his knees on the mattress. “You’re always telling us to share.”

“We wouldn’t want to disappoint you,” Buffy chimed in, giving Angel a little push; he braced his fall with his hands and then flinched, realizing he was now on his hands and knees before his two . . . apt . . . girlfriends.

It was going to be a long night. A really, really satisfying night, but long.

That tended to be how these things went.


Darla ran her fingers through Angelus’s hair.

“Didn’t I give you very explicit instructions,” she whispered against the nape of his neck, “about how I wanted the Slayer situation handled?”

Angelus didn’t answer. Darla tightened her grasp, snapping Angelus’s head back so his throat was prone and his fiery, indignant eyes landed on the ceiling.

“Did you think that was a rhetorical question, boy?”

Angelus winced as Darla slowly wormed a thick, unyielding knot of leather up into him.

“You . . . may have,” he muttered begrudgingly.

Darla began thrusting her false phallus at a leisurely pace. Angelus felt his cock stiffen despite the pain, the indignity, but tried not to let the feeling show on his face.

“And you chose to ignore my directive because . . . ?”

Darla’s voice was a low purr now, and Angelus knew he was in trouble.

“I thought it was more . . . a suggestion.”

Darla was silent for a moment, and Angelus smiled, reveling in his Sire’s shock.

No matter the inevitable fury: totally worth it.


Fucking Connor is more like fucking Darla than it is fucking Angel, what with the delicate, really should break holding all this weight bones and those pillowy lips that look like they were manufactured to cushion a thrusting, eager cock.

Spike wonders, with dreamy come dream logic, if he should feel bad for this thought, and then decides fuck no. He’s evil, remember?


She’s dangerous, Darla said, her eyes glinting hotter than the embers Angelus was tending to. And she tries my patience.

Everything tries your patience, Darla.

Darla’s pale hands splayed against the stiff fabric of her skirts, a flexing of claws, a display of arsenal. He wasn’t too old.

Come sit here by the fire. It’s nice and—

We don’t have body temperatures, you idiot. Why don’t you make yourself useful, and toss in your new toy as kindling?

She wouldn’t fit, for starters, Angelus replied amiably, and then rose. Grinning, which was stupid of him. No one in their right mind would have a smile on their face with Darla in the state she was in.

He wound his hands around her small waist. Darla allowed him to pull her against his chest; he was warm from the fire, and smelled earthy and hot: smoke, carbon.

You’re an idiot, Darla said. Angelus’s mouth fell against her neck. She cocked an eyebrow and looked down at him. His eyes were closed, and her face relaxed. She threaded a hand through his hair.

No sense wasting a perfectly good fire. Not now that you’ve gone through the trouble.

’Course not, Angelus agreed, and let Darla drive him to his knees on the hearth.


TITLE: Cowboy Up!
AUTHOR: Lamia Archer
RATING: NC-17. I know, I’m shocked, too.
FANDOM: BtVS/AtS
PAIRING: Buffy/Angel
WORD COUNT: 3,592
SUMMARY: Turnabout is fair play.
SPOILERS: Ambiguous future after Angel shanshus; a sequel to Hot Sex.
DEDICATION: For Karla-with-a-K. She makes me do these things, against my better judgment.
NOTES: SEXY STUF – spelled just like that, I swear! – is a real store about an hour from where I live; a few of my girlfriends and I stopped in there on the way to The Smoky Mountain Deer Farm & Exotic Petting Zoo – shut up, we’re adults; it’s awesome! Don’t knock it ’til you’ve been! – and it is just as hilarious as you would imagine a porn peddler who wouldn’t deem fit to put two f’s in “stuff” would be. Look, they even have a web page!


TITLE: Snow Angels
AUTHOR: Lamia Archer
RATING: NC-17
FANDOM: BtVS/AtS
PAIRING: Buffy/Angel
WORD COUNT: 1,641
SUMMARY: Love, honor, and obey, and good things happen.
SPOILERS: Post-“NFA” with absolutely no explanation of such except here.
PROMPT: dom Buffy, sex
DEDICATION: For Karla-with-a-K


TITLE: Hot Sex
AUTHOR: Lamia Archer
RATING: NC-17. I know, I’m shocked, too.
FANDOM: “Buffy”
PAIRING: Buffy/Angel
WORD COUNT: 4,597 (And, for those keeping track, 42 of those words are words that are synonyms of “hot” or “fever” or something like that, and the word “thermometer” is used five times.)
SUMMARY: Fluff! But with sex. (Because I don’t do fluff, except with fixin’s, and only on demand; it’s for Karla.) Angel’s sick, and Buffy has a unique thought on how to cheer him up.
SPOILERS: Ambiguous future after Angel shanshus.
DEDICATION: For Karla-with-a-K, [profile] ba4ever who wanted B/A with “HOTSECKS!” in this meme. (And also a little for [profile] southernbangel, who guilted me into finishing this because, "now you need to write hot!dirty!kinky! B/A porn. To right the universe and all," after I misaligned the universe with this fic.


For The Cuff 'Em, Vamp 'Em, or Just Make 'Em Come Already Kink and Cliché Multi-Fandom Challenge. And thanks very much to [profile] shellybelle for the beta; as always, your comments are a great help to me. Muah!

TITLE: Phone Sex
AUTHOR: Lamia Archer
RATING: NC-17. I know, I’m shocked, too.
FANDOM: “Angel”
PAIRING: Cordelia/Angel
WORD COUNT: 6,262
SUMMARY: Angel’s repeated buffoonery re: his cellular telephone gets him into trouble with Cordelia. Her attempts to rectify the situation get her into trouble via the PTB. Or is the whole thing Angel’s fault?
SPOILERS: Takes place after “War Zone.”
CLICHÉ/KINK: Phone sex.

Profile

carlyinrome

September 2010

S M T W T F S
   1234
5678 9 1011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags